My kids (Mini, 10, Pickle, 8, and Yummy, 5) have been on an insane Calico Critters binge lately. Do you know what these are? Ridiculously adorable fuzzy woodland creatures who come with houses and accessories, and whose tiny perfection is exceeded only by their price tag.
We recently found out that Target sells a knock off version. Maybe not quite as cute, but much more affordable for both my kids and myself, who seem to have roughly equivelant amounts of spending money these days.
(Side note: Mini is thoroughly obsessed with the Little House on the Prairie books these days, which goes nicely with her little calico critters obsession. We spent last week making her tiny kangaroos a covered wagon, and a trundle bed which pulls out from beneath Ma and Pa's big bed. From Popsicle sticks. And hot glue. As one of the least crafty moms in my zip code, I am thrilled to announce that both trundle bed and covered wagon were a huge success.)
So ANYWAY, yesterday the four of us went to peruse the toy aisle at Target. This is truly exceptional behavior... I avoid Target with great determination since I agree with the Tao te Ching's warning that seeing nice things makes the heart feel confused about what it truly wants. But my kids had money in hand, and let's face it, some new and interesting toys can make the summer move just a little more smoothly, so off we went.
WELL... In case all of you don't already know this... Girl toys are GROSSSSSS! Most of the dolls they had made Barbie look like a fundamentalist Christian homeschooler. (No offense intended to any fundamentalist Christian homeschoolers or Barbies who may be reading.) I was seriously disgusted. Sexualization of children is something that we as a culture should be appalled by. And sexualization of their clothes, toys, and entertainment are all part of that package.
Am I the only one who thinks Strawberry Shortcake was cuter before she got nipped and tucked and squeezed into a mini skirt? And don't even get me started on Monster High dolls. I think they must have been designed by a team of plastic surgeons who run a low-end brothel on the side. I think I may have contracted an std just from walking down the aisle.
I guess these products are money makers or else Target wouldn't have aisles full of them, but I wish parents would be a little more careful about the messages they allow to enter their homes, and the companies they support. Every dollar spent is an endorsement. Put your dollars in the right place. By which I obviously mean, invest in some Popsicle sticks and a hot glue gun.
Tuesday, June 24, 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Eggs Benedict Arnold
Well, friends -
A lot has changed since my last post. More on all that later...
I was recently informed by a tearful Mini that her dad told her just last weekend that I asked for a divorce for my birthday. His newest version of events is that he got me an egg poacher as a gift. But I didn't like it. And so I (naturally) told him I'd rather have a divorce, please.
I can't begin to tell you in words how exhausting it is to coparent with a person whose grip on reality is never very secure.
Anyway, obviously his explanation is ludicrous because I freakin' LOVE that egg poacher. No, seriously. I use it several times a week. It is almost solely responsible for the fact that my middle child (the one called Pickle for public blogging purposes) is still alive and not severely malnourished due to a very serious ailment called 'picky eating.' (Don't worry, Concerned Reader, we have a support group to help us all through it.)
And I am just now starting the process of deciding what can be said in a public forum without causing undue pain to both the innocent and the not so innocent. It's important to remember that while there ARE two sides to every story, as people are so fond of saying, sometimes one of the sides is just a piping hot pile of crap.
Input on this topic (or any other, really) welcome and encouraged.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Shinglectomy
Well I'm sure that ear infections are in fact very painful, as stated in my previous post.
However, I cannot speak from direct recent experience since what I had was not in fact an ear infection. At least, not in the traditional sense.
Here you go, medical professionals - see what you can do with these symptoms: intense ear pain, swollen blisters and bumps coming out the ear canal and up under my hairline, tingling, buzzing, and numbness on the entire right side of my head, intermittent facial paralysis also only on the right side, and intermittent but complete hearing loss in my right ear.
Thank heavens my doctor knows me well enough to know that I am also under more stress than usual right now, and this helped him figure out that I have shingles in a facial nerve which sits right inside your ear. Mmhhmm. Shingles. Just so you know, shingles hurt REALLY REALLY bad. Thank heavens most of my symptoms have cleared up - I'm left with nothing but tingling on one side of my head that comes and goes - feels like I have spiders climbing around in my hair. But the pain is finally gone, which is fantastic. It's interesting how when I thought the pain was due to a bacterial infection which would SURELY respond to antibiotics within the next 24 hours (yes, I thought this for almost two weeks...) the pain was almost manageable. But as soon as my doctor told me that it would last 3-5 weeks it became totally overwhelming.
Luckily, I was already two weeks in. Less lucky is that with shingles you have a 48-72 hr window to start anti-viral drugs. Oops.
My doc did give me these nerve blocker anti-seizure medication which is supposed to calm and dull your nerves (since the virus is in the actual nerve - not the tissue or anything easy like that). But apparently you have lots of nerves in your brain. So it also dulls your brain. I can say that it was totally worth it for a few days while I couldn't sleep or wear my glasses or hear, etc. I called several ENTs in a panic, worried that the hearing loss and facial paralysis would become permanent, which is a possibility. Sadly, they all said basically, "Come in and see me after it is, then we'll see what we can do." Apparently prevention isn't an option.
My kids had much better luck with the ENT than I did, though. I finally decided to go over our pediatrician's head and just see an specialist about getting their tonsils removed (don't tell!!)
We saw Heidi Heras in American Fork last Friday. She asked Mini (7) what grade she was in, and after Mini responded, looked at me with a horrified look on her face, saying "I can already tell from the sound of her voice that they need to come out."
Turns out both Mini and Pickle (5) need them out, and soon. Dr. Heras said both their tonsils are so big (touching, even when they're healthy) that when they're infected they could become an instant asphyxiation hazard. Awesome huh? She says she's done tracheotomies on kids with tonsils like theirs, since the tonsils just fill their little throats up and they suffocate. Ridiculous.
So both of them are going in for surgery on October 20. Should be a magical Halloween, with no candy and no trick-or-treating and no parties. I did promise them that they can wear their Mr. and Mrs. Vampire costumes to 7-Eleven to get a slurpee or something else smooth and cold.
Yes, this Halloween is going to be more awful than they have any idea at this point, but I think in the long run it will be totally worth it.
I had my tonsils out at 22, and with one exception it is the most painful thing I have ever recovered from. Seriously. To put it in perspective, I have had three babies with adorable but enormous noggins, and none of those post-delivery complications hold a candle to the searing pain following my tonsillectomy. Mmhhmm.
At least we won't need to use face paint to get the blood dripping out the corners of their mouths. Kidding. KIDDING. That is gross and morbid. Apologies.
Happy Halloween, kiddos!!!
However, I cannot speak from direct recent experience since what I had was not in fact an ear infection. At least, not in the traditional sense.
Here you go, medical professionals - see what you can do with these symptoms: intense ear pain, swollen blisters and bumps coming out the ear canal and up under my hairline, tingling, buzzing, and numbness on the entire right side of my head, intermittent facial paralysis also only on the right side, and intermittent but complete hearing loss in my right ear.
Thank heavens my doctor knows me well enough to know that I am also under more stress than usual right now, and this helped him figure out that I have shingles in a facial nerve which sits right inside your ear. Mmhhmm. Shingles. Just so you know, shingles hurt REALLY REALLY bad. Thank heavens most of my symptoms have cleared up - I'm left with nothing but tingling on one side of my head that comes and goes - feels like I have spiders climbing around in my hair. But the pain is finally gone, which is fantastic. It's interesting how when I thought the pain was due to a bacterial infection which would SURELY respond to antibiotics within the next 24 hours (yes, I thought this for almost two weeks...) the pain was almost manageable. But as soon as my doctor told me that it would last 3-5 weeks it became totally overwhelming.
Luckily, I was already two weeks in. Less lucky is that with shingles you have a 48-72 hr window to start anti-viral drugs. Oops.
My doc did give me these nerve blocker anti-seizure medication which is supposed to calm and dull your nerves (since the virus is in the actual nerve - not the tissue or anything easy like that). But apparently you have lots of nerves in your brain. So it also dulls your brain. I can say that it was totally worth it for a few days while I couldn't sleep or wear my glasses or hear, etc. I called several ENTs in a panic, worried that the hearing loss and facial paralysis would become permanent, which is a possibility. Sadly, they all said basically, "Come in and see me after it is, then we'll see what we can do." Apparently prevention isn't an option.
My kids had much better luck with the ENT than I did, though. I finally decided to go over our pediatrician's head and just see an specialist about getting their tonsils removed (don't tell!!)
We saw Heidi Heras in American Fork last Friday. She asked Mini (7) what grade she was in, and after Mini responded, looked at me with a horrified look on her face, saying "I can already tell from the sound of her voice that they need to come out."
Turns out both Mini and Pickle (5) need them out, and soon. Dr. Heras said both their tonsils are so big (touching, even when they're healthy) that when they're infected they could become an instant asphyxiation hazard. Awesome huh? She says she's done tracheotomies on kids with tonsils like theirs, since the tonsils just fill their little throats up and they suffocate. Ridiculous.
So both of them are going in for surgery on October 20. Should be a magical Halloween, with no candy and no trick-or-treating and no parties. I did promise them that they can wear their Mr. and Mrs. Vampire costumes to 7-Eleven to get a slurpee or something else smooth and cold.
Yes, this Halloween is going to be more awful than they have any idea at this point, but I think in the long run it will be totally worth it.
I had my tonsils out at 22, and with one exception it is the most painful thing I have ever recovered from. Seriously. To put it in perspective, I have had three babies with adorable but enormous noggins, and none of those post-delivery complications hold a candle to the searing pain following my tonsillectomy. Mmhhmm.
At least we won't need to use face paint to get the blood dripping out the corners of their mouths. Kidding. KIDDING. That is gross and morbid. Apologies.
Happy Halloween, kiddos!!!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Annie's Romance
Welcome to Cheeky Clean!!!
So.
Sorry for the very looooonnnnggggg break I took from blogging.
Things have been crazy around here. I have thought more than once of starting a different kind of blog entirely, but then I'd have to do it anonymously to protect unwilling subjects, and then I couldn't post it on facebook, and then no one would EVER know it existed.
So I'm sticking to this one.
As you can see though, I changed my name. The old one Clean Eats for Tiny Tummies was too long and not very catchy. As a musician, catchy is a necessity for me. And also, I'm very unclear on the direction that this blog is taking. I'm pretty sure it's not a food blog, strictly speaking, so the 'Clean Eats' seemed misleading.
Oh, did I tell you I'm a musician?
I am. I play the violin.
I am currently playing in a Celtic band here in Utah called Annie's Romance. This extracurricular activity has saved my sanity more than once this past spring and summer. I love having something that is just my own. Just for me. Every mother needs what Virginia Woolf referred to as "A Room of One's Own". She was a wise woman indeed. My band is my very own room. Where I get to go every Thursday night and remember who I was before I met my spectacular children. Late Thursday nights I come home ready to be a more or less adequate mother to them. Better than when I left.
I will be forever grateful to my talented bandmates Atta Girl Annie and Runaway Rob and Marvelous Marvin for their patience with a mom who never has time to practice, is the last to learn everything, and is ten minutes late for everything.
In other news, my kids' health has been hugely improved this summer over last. Pickle (5 yrs) has strep right now, but it's been several months since his last bout so I'm not taking it too personally. Mini (7 yrs) has sounded like she has strep all summer, but nope, it's just INSANELY swollen tonsils. She says it doesn't hurt but it looks, well, like a medical emergency is living in the back of her throat. I think we have two tonsillectomies in our future... Due to the stress of the summer's events which I am not free to discuss publicly, I have an awesome ear infection right now. Because apparently I'm 4 yrs old. Here's a reminder to all you old fuddy duddies like me: EAR INFECTIONS HURT REALLY REALLY BAD. Yummy (2 yrs) had a cold which required one breathing treatment in August, and I panicked and thought all was surely lost... I fully expected to be up around the clock for a week doing breathing treatments, but nope! After just one breathing treatment he recovered, and his cold cleared up pretty quickly.
If only the whining was also caused by a milk allergy...
So.
Sorry for the very looooonnnnggggg break I took from blogging.
Things have been crazy around here. I have thought more than once of starting a different kind of blog entirely, but then I'd have to do it anonymously to protect unwilling subjects, and then I couldn't post it on facebook, and then no one would EVER know it existed.
So I'm sticking to this one.
As you can see though, I changed my name. The old one Clean Eats for Tiny Tummies was too long and not very catchy. As a musician, catchy is a necessity for me. And also, I'm very unclear on the direction that this blog is taking. I'm pretty sure it's not a food blog, strictly speaking, so the 'Clean Eats' seemed misleading.
Oh, did I tell you I'm a musician?
I am. I play the violin.
I am currently playing in a Celtic band here in Utah called Annie's Romance. This extracurricular activity has saved my sanity more than once this past spring and summer. I love having something that is just my own. Just for me. Every mother needs what Virginia Woolf referred to as "A Room of One's Own". She was a wise woman indeed. My band is my very own room. Where I get to go every Thursday night and remember who I was before I met my spectacular children. Late Thursday nights I come home ready to be a more or less adequate mother to them. Better than when I left.
I will be forever grateful to my talented bandmates Atta Girl Annie and Runaway Rob and Marvelous Marvin for their patience with a mom who never has time to practice, is the last to learn everything, and is ten minutes late for everything.
In other news, my kids' health has been hugely improved this summer over last. Pickle (5 yrs) has strep right now, but it's been several months since his last bout so I'm not taking it too personally. Mini (7 yrs) has sounded like she has strep all summer, but nope, it's just INSANELY swollen tonsils. She says it doesn't hurt but it looks, well, like a medical emergency is living in the back of her throat. I think we have two tonsillectomies in our future... Due to the stress of the summer's events which I am not free to discuss publicly, I have an awesome ear infection right now. Because apparently I'm 4 yrs old. Here's a reminder to all you old fuddy duddies like me: EAR INFECTIONS HURT REALLY REALLY BAD. Yummy (2 yrs) had a cold which required one breathing treatment in August, and I panicked and thought all was surely lost... I fully expected to be up around the clock for a week doing breathing treatments, but nope! After just one breathing treatment he recovered, and his cold cleared up pretty quickly.
If only the whining was also caused by a milk allergy...
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Really Really Great Outdoors
The outdoors in general are great.But the outdoors in Yosemite, California are SPECTACULAR.
To the left is a picture of my firstborn, Mini, sitting atop Glacier Point last week. I'm generally too nervous to post pictures of my kids on this blog (since it's public), but I figure the back of her head should keep her pretty anonymous right? I'd hate to have the Dairy Council come after her or something... hehehe.
So.
While making food preparations for our week away from home (which involved freezing enough boxes of rice and soy milk to use for the entire week - since I have never ONCE seen a box of alternative milk for sale at any gas station in Nevada), I sent out an email to all my in-laws who would be traveling with us, detailing our little milk-free experiment this summer. I felt it was vital to keep everyone on the same page, since we would be hours from an emergency room, and an attack w/o an ER nearby could be fatal. No milk seems like a pretty small price to pay for children staying alive and well, right?
Well, the response I got was awesome. My brother-in-law was the only one to respond, and he basically said, "Milk? Have you ever seen anyone in this family drink milk? Your kids will be drinking Coke all week, duh. Don't even worry about it." Yeah, good point. I don't know what I was so worried about. I let go of all my sugar standards for this one week, and figured that what happens in Yosemite stays in Yosemite. And sure, they might get cavities, but a little lemonade/soda never killed anyone, right? Well, not immediately anyway. Unlike a dairy-induced asthma attack.
So to make a long story short, Mini, Pickle and Yummy all did very well. And they all fell in love with Yosemite, just like I did when I first went as a newlywed in the summer of 2002. I knew it would last when I saw how sweet my husband was with me as I had my first (and only ever) full-blown panic attack halfway up the cables on Half Dome, then proceeded to the top where I found a low spot and sat with my eyes closed until it was time to go back down. Oh, and my sister-in-law's post-hike foot care will never be forgotten either... I married into a good family. I owe them big for introducing me to Yosemite.
Mini's thinking perhaps next time we could stay for a whole summer. I'm assuming she'll be independently wealthy by that time (perhaps with a back-of-the-head modeling contract?) so I said sure, why not?
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