Shinglectomy

Well I'm sure that ear infections are in fact very painful, as stated in my previous post.
However, I cannot speak from direct recent experience since what I had was not in fact an ear infection.  At least, not in the traditional sense.
Here you go, medical professionals - see what you can do with these symptoms:  intense ear pain, swollen blisters and bumps coming out the ear canal and up under my hairline, tingling, buzzing, and numbness on the entire right side of my head, intermittent facial paralysis also only on the right side, and intermittent but complete hearing loss in my right ear.
Thank heavens my doctor knows me well enough to know that I am also under more stress than usual right now, and this helped him figure out that I have shingles in a facial nerve which sits right inside your ear.  Mmhhmm.  Shingles.  Just so you know, shingles hurt REALLY REALLY bad.  Thank heavens most of my symptoms have cleared up - I'm left with nothing but tingling on one side of my head that comes and goes - feels like I have spiders climbing around in my hair.  But the pain is finally gone, which is fantastic.  It's interesting how when I thought the pain was due to a bacterial infection which would SURELY respond to antibiotics within the next 24 hours (yes, I thought this for almost two weeks...) the pain was almost manageable.  But as soon as my doctor told me that it would last 3-5 weeks it became totally overwhelming.
Luckily, I was already two weeks in.  Less lucky is that with shingles you have a 48-72 hr window to start anti-viral drugs.  Oops.
My doc did give me these nerve blocker anti-seizure medication which is supposed to calm and dull your nerves (since the virus is in the actual nerve - not the tissue or anything easy like that).  But apparently you have lots of nerves in your brain.  So it also dulls your brain.  I can say that it was totally worth it for a few days while I couldn't sleep or wear my glasses or hear, etc.  I called several ENTs in a panic, worried that the hearing loss and facial paralysis would become permanent, which is a possibility.  Sadly, they all said basically, "Come in and see me after it is, then we'll see what we can do."  Apparently prevention isn't an option.
My kids had much better luck with the ENT than I did, though.  I finally decided to go over our pediatrician's head and just see an specialist about getting their tonsils removed (don't tell!!)
We saw Heidi Heras in American Fork last Friday.  She asked Mini (7) what grade she was in, and after Mini responded, looked at me with a horrified look on her face, saying "I can already tell from the sound of her voice that they need to come out."
Turns out both Mini and Pickle (5) need them out, and soon.  Dr. Heras said both their tonsils are so big (touching, even when they're healthy) that when they're infected they could become an instant asphyxiation hazard.  Awesome huh?  She says she's done tracheotomies on kids with tonsils like theirs, since the tonsils just fill their little throats up and they suffocate.  Ridiculous.
So both of them are going in for surgery on October 20.  Should be a magical Halloween, with no candy and no trick-or-treating and no parties.  I did promise them that they can wear their Mr. and Mrs. Vampire costumes to 7-Eleven to get a slurpee or something else smooth and cold.
Yes, this Halloween is going to be more awful than they have any idea at this point, but I think in the long run it will be totally worth it.
I had my tonsils out at 22, and with one exception it is the most painful thing I have ever recovered from.  Seriously.  To put it in perspective, I have had three babies with adorable but enormous noggins, and none of those post-delivery complications hold a candle to the searing pain following my tonsillectomy.  Mmhhmm.   
At least we won't need to use face paint to get the blood dripping out the corners of their mouths.  Kidding.  KIDDING.  That is gross and morbid.  Apologies.
Happy Halloween, kiddos!!!

Step 1: Eliminate Dairy

So I think I once heard Ben Stiller say that you can milk pretty much anything.  
Not that I would know.  I did not, in fact, milk any soybeans or coconuts this week, but I did decide to cut the dairy first.  My kids (referred to henceforth as Mini (she's 7), Pickle (he's 5) and Yummy (he's 2) LOVE milk.  (FYI, Yummy is at this moment climbing up one side of my face in an attempt to kiss the other side of my face.  I apologize if you're having trouble picturing that.  Or maybe you're lucky.) They drink a big cup every morning (sometimes with chocolate, sometimes without) first thing after getting out of bed.  They drink it after lunch.  They drink it before bed, then they usually have another cup IN bed if they're having trouble falling asleep.  All this milk is not only packed with sugar but is difficult for most humans who are no longer infants to digest.  It is a common allergen and can trigger respiratory symptoms, eczema, digestive problems and asthma.
SO.
I sat Mini, Pickle, and Yummy down over the weekend and explained that I thought we should try to stop drinking milk.  Pickle was fine with this.  He loves chocolate milk, but doesn't usually drink milk plain.  Yummy is 2 yrs old, and was oblivious.  Mini, on the other hand, entered what I like to call Meltdown Mode.  She sat on the kitchen stool crying.  Actual tears.  Explaining how much she loves milk, and how she could never learn to love anything new as much as she loves cow's milk.
Well, Tuesday morning, we ran out of that precious cow's milk.  She sat at the kitchen counter, and tearfully sipped the last drops.  I could see that she was less than enthusiastic about this little experiment.  So I just asked her a question.
I asked her:  Where does milk come from?
Mini:  Cows.
Me:  Who is that milk for?
Pause.
Mini:  Baby cows?
Me:  Exactly.  [At this point I gave her a VERY mild G-rated version of a day-in-the-life of the average American dairy cow, including such tragic details as cows that are hooked up to machines continuously, and don't get to go outside or walk around.  Ever.  If you think you're ready for the grown-up version, go watch Food, Inc.  Now.  No, seriously...]

***

After a quick trip to the health-food aisle of our local Smith's Marketplace, I got out a newly purchased package of tiny dixie cups, and four kinds of 'milk'.  I labeled each of the cups, and gave them each a sample of soy, rice, almond and coconut milk.  I told them I wanted to hear lots of adjectives to describe what they were tasting, but they couldn't say the word "yucky".  If they needed to, they could tell me which one was "not their favorite".  

Success!  Mini and Pickle both tasted all the options, and each picked one they wanted to finish drinking.  

Taste test results:  Mini preferred coconut milk, and Pickle preferred soy. 

***

Today was Day 2 of being dairy-free.  And apart from a minor skirmish today with Mini who wanted a quesadilla for lunch today, it's all going pretty smoothly.  Yummy thinks all the milks are pretty, well, yummy.  And both Mini and Pickle have discovered that (shockingly) ALL the milks taste pretty darn good with a big scoop of Nesquik.  

Hmmm.... not looking forward to tackling sugar later this summer...