Shinglectomy

Well I'm sure that ear infections are in fact very painful, as stated in my previous post.
However, I cannot speak from direct recent experience since what I had was not in fact an ear infection.  At least, not in the traditional sense.
Here you go, medical professionals - see what you can do with these symptoms:  intense ear pain, swollen blisters and bumps coming out the ear canal and up under my hairline, tingling, buzzing, and numbness on the entire right side of my head, intermittent facial paralysis also only on the right side, and intermittent but complete hearing loss in my right ear.
Thank heavens my doctor knows me well enough to know that I am also under more stress than usual right now, and this helped him figure out that I have shingles in a facial nerve which sits right inside your ear.  Mmhhmm.  Shingles.  Just so you know, shingles hurt REALLY REALLY bad.  Thank heavens most of my symptoms have cleared up - I'm left with nothing but tingling on one side of my head that comes and goes - feels like I have spiders climbing around in my hair.  But the pain is finally gone, which is fantastic.  It's interesting how when I thought the pain was due to a bacterial infection which would SURELY respond to antibiotics within the next 24 hours (yes, I thought this for almost two weeks...) the pain was almost manageable.  But as soon as my doctor told me that it would last 3-5 weeks it became totally overwhelming.
Luckily, I was already two weeks in.  Less lucky is that with shingles you have a 48-72 hr window to start anti-viral drugs.  Oops.
My doc did give me these nerve blocker anti-seizure medication which is supposed to calm and dull your nerves (since the virus is in the actual nerve - not the tissue or anything easy like that).  But apparently you have lots of nerves in your brain.  So it also dulls your brain.  I can say that it was totally worth it for a few days while I couldn't sleep or wear my glasses or hear, etc.  I called several ENTs in a panic, worried that the hearing loss and facial paralysis would become permanent, which is a possibility.  Sadly, they all said basically, "Come in and see me after it is, then we'll see what we can do."  Apparently prevention isn't an option.
My kids had much better luck with the ENT than I did, though.  I finally decided to go over our pediatrician's head and just see an specialist about getting their tonsils removed (don't tell!!)
We saw Heidi Heras in American Fork last Friday.  She asked Mini (7) what grade she was in, and after Mini responded, looked at me with a horrified look on her face, saying "I can already tell from the sound of her voice that they need to come out."
Turns out both Mini and Pickle (5) need them out, and soon.  Dr. Heras said both their tonsils are so big (touching, even when they're healthy) that when they're infected they could become an instant asphyxiation hazard.  Awesome huh?  She says she's done tracheotomies on kids with tonsils like theirs, since the tonsils just fill their little throats up and they suffocate.  Ridiculous.
So both of them are going in for surgery on October 20.  Should be a magical Halloween, with no candy and no trick-or-treating and no parties.  I did promise them that they can wear their Mr. and Mrs. Vampire costumes to 7-Eleven to get a slurpee or something else smooth and cold.
Yes, this Halloween is going to be more awful than they have any idea at this point, but I think in the long run it will be totally worth it.
I had my tonsils out at 22, and with one exception it is the most painful thing I have ever recovered from.  Seriously.  To put it in perspective, I have had three babies with adorable but enormous noggins, and none of those post-delivery complications hold a candle to the searing pain following my tonsillectomy.  Mmhhmm.   
At least we won't need to use face paint to get the blood dripping out the corners of their mouths.  Kidding.  KIDDING.  That is gross and morbid.  Apologies.
Happy Halloween, kiddos!!!

Annie's Romance

Welcome to Cheeky Clean!!!
So.
Sorry for the very looooonnnnggggg break I took from blogging.
Things have been crazy around here.  I have thought more than once of starting a different kind of blog entirely, but then I'd have to do it anonymously to protect unwilling subjects, and then I couldn't post it on facebook, and then no one would EVER know it existed.
So I'm sticking to this one.
As you can see though, I changed my name.  The old one Clean Eats for Tiny Tummies was too long and not very catchy.  As a musician, catchy is a necessity for me.  And also, I'm very unclear on the direction that this blog is taking.  I'm pretty sure it's not a food blog, strictly speaking, so the 'Clean Eats' seemed misleading.
Oh, did I tell you I'm a musician?
I am.  I play the violin.
I am currently playing in a Celtic band here in Utah called Annie's Romance.  This extracurricular activity has saved my sanity more than once this past spring and summer.  I love having something that is just my own.  Just for me.  Every mother needs what Virginia Woolf referred to as "A Room of One's Own".  She was a wise woman indeed.  My band is my very own room.  Where I get to go every Thursday night and remember who I was before I met my spectacular children.  Late Thursday nights I come home ready to be a more or less adequate mother to them.  Better than when I left.
I will be forever grateful to my talented bandmates Atta Girl Annie and Runaway Rob and Marvelous Marvin for their patience with a mom who never has time to practice, is the last to learn everything, and is ten minutes late for everything.
In other news, my kids' health has been hugely improved this summer over last.  Pickle (5 yrs) has strep right now, but it's been several months since his last bout so I'm not taking it too personally.  Mini (7 yrs) has sounded like she has strep all summer, but nope, it's just INSANELY swollen tonsils.  She says it doesn't hurt but it looks, well, like a medical emergency is living in the back of her throat.  I think we have two tonsillectomies in our future... Due to the stress of the summer's events which I am not free to discuss publicly, I have an awesome ear infection right now.  Because apparently I'm 4 yrs old.  Here's a reminder to all you old fuddy duddies like me:  EAR INFECTIONS HURT REALLY REALLY BAD.  Yummy (2 yrs) had a cold which required one breathing treatment in August, and I panicked and thought all was surely lost...  I fully expected to be up around the clock for a week doing breathing treatments, but nope!  After just one breathing treatment he recovered, and his cold cleared up pretty quickly.
If only the whining was also caused by a milk allergy...

The Really Really Great Outdoors

The outdoors in general are great.
But the outdoors in Yosemite, California are SPECTACULAR.
To the left is a picture of my firstborn, Mini, sitting atop Glacier Point last week.  I'm generally too nervous to post pictures of my kids on this blog (since it's public), but I figure the back of her head should keep her pretty anonymous right?  I'd hate to have the Dairy Council come after her or something... hehehe.

So.
While making food preparations for our week away from home (which involved freezing enough boxes of rice and soy milk to use for the entire week - since I have never ONCE seen a box of alternative milk for sale at any gas station in Nevada), I sent out an email to all my in-laws who would be traveling with us, detailing our little milk-free experiment this summer.  I felt it was vital to keep everyone on the same page, since we would be hours from an emergency room, and an attack w/o an ER nearby could be fatal.  No milk seems like a pretty small price to pay for children staying alive and well, right?

Well, the response I got was awesome.  My brother-in-law was the only one to respond, and he basically said, "Milk?  Have you ever seen anyone in this family drink milk?  Your kids will be drinking Coke all week, duh.  Don't even worry about it."  Yeah, good point.  I don't know what I was so worried about.  I let go of all my sugar standards for this one week, and figured that what happens in Yosemite stays in Yosemite.  And sure, they might get cavities, but a little lemonade/soda never killed anyone, right?  Well, not immediately anyway.  Unlike a dairy-induced asthma attack.

So to make a long story short, Mini, Pickle and Yummy all did very well.  And they all fell in love with Yosemite, just like I did when I first went as a newlywed in the summer of 2002.  I knew it would last when I saw how sweet my husband was with me as I had my first (and only ever) full-blown panic attack halfway up the cables on Half Dome, then proceeded to the top where I found a low spot and sat with my eyes closed until it was time to go back down.  Oh, and my sister-in-law's post-hike foot care will never be forgotten either...  I married into a good family.  I owe them big for introducing me to Yosemite.

Mini's thinking perhaps next time we could stay for a whole summer.  I'm assuming she'll be independently wealthy by that time (perhaps with a back-of-the-head modeling contract?) so I said sure, why not?

Lactophilia

So.
Milk:  It does a body good?
Or maybe,
Milk:  It does a body more harm than good, but the Dairy Council is such a powerful lobby that most of us American lactophiles will never find this out?
I hope I'm not sounding too conspiracy theory for everyone.  I hate to sound like a crazy.  And yet...

I was shocked to discover a few years ago (while reading Barbra Kingsolver's fantastic book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle) that most adult humans don't drink any milk at all.  It's basically just people of European descent who have incorporated it into their diets beyond infancy.  About 90% of people of African descent are lactose intolerant.  The statistic for Caucasians is somewhere between 20% and 40%, but the reality is that most people are accustomed to the complications caused by a milk allergy that has never been diagnosed.

I grew up loving milk, and believing that it was a near perfect food - protein, calcium, vitamins and minerals, all in one tasty beverage, right?  But after eliminating it for a few weeks last year, I was surprised at how quickly it lost its appeal for me.  After not drinking it for a while, it started to smell really off to me - regardless of the expiration date.  So with few exceptions, I've been off it for about a year.

One of the major arguments in favor of milk is that we need the calcium, right?  The irony here is that there is indeed a very clear link between milk and osteoporosis, but it's not what we've been lead to believe.  The incidence of osteoporosis actually increases dramatically in countries that drink milk, and is virtually non-existent in countries where dairy isn't consumed.

Another little-known fact is that today's milk is not the same milk our progenitors drank.  Fifty years ago the average dairy cow gave about 2,000 pounds of milk a year.  Today, dairy cows give up to 50,000 pounds per year.  The increase is due to a combination of factors including forced feedings, specialized breeding, and of course the ubiquitous hormones and antibiotics.

I am not in favor of fear-mongering, and I hope that's not what I'm doing here.  I just truly find this all fascinating - and one of the most intriguing parts of what I'm learning is how few people seem to know about it - and how skeptical people are when you bring it up.  Try telling someone that milk may cause osteoporosis, and see what I mean.

There is a fantastic article written by a surgeon in California.  He specializes in surgical treatment of female cancers, and has a lot to say about the relationship between milk and everything from ear infections to cancer.  It's long, but if you want to read more, check it out:  http://www.notmilk.com/kradjian.html

There's also a book which I just started called The China Study by T. Colin Campbell.  In this book, Campbell looks at an entire culture's health issues rather than just a sample of a few hundred or thousand people.  I haven't gotten very far yet, but it's fascinating, and I know he has some pretty interesting ideas about what animal products (including milk) do to our bodies in the long run.

I also highly recommend Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbra Kingsolver.  It doesn't have a ton about milk specifically (which you're probably grateful for) but is the story of how she and her family became locavores for a year.  And when she says 'local' she means it - if she didn't grow it or kill it herself, she shook the hand of the person who did.  Otherwise they did without.  Imagine no bananas for a whole year!  No pineapple!  No mangos!  Aaaahhhh!!!!

The good news is that while my kids are tolerating our alternative milks just fine these days, they've also always loved nature's perfect beverage:  water!  I'm always shocked at how many people don't ever think to drink plain ol' water.  Our doctor took one look at my very tall thirty-five pound 2 yr old Yummy, and pointed out that he did not in fact need to be drinking ANY calories at all.  Drink water!  I recently saw a poster that said "Coffee:  The Original Energy Drink."  I'm here to propose that water may be the original health drink.  It's an oldie but a goodie.  Bottoms up!

Validation. And Complications.

So, as I was finishing up my last post, poor little Yummy was going into respiratory arrest.  Again.  I know this not because he woke up and came to tell me about it but because I could hear his stridor through the door.  The fact that a kid could be blue around the mouth and struggling so much for air that I can hear him over the television and through the closed door and NOT wake up is terrifying to me.

I ran and grabbed him out of bed, called my husband (who was out playing a late hockey game) to ask how far away he was, and set up a breathing treatment.  I gave him two puffs of preventil through the aerochamber, then two albuterol treatments in the nebulizer back to back, which at least got him enough air to where he could cry and talk, and his color returned to normal.

After watching him for a couple more hours and giving him another neb, I put him to bed with a cup of lemonade (all we had on hand besides the treacherous cow's milk) and instead of sleeping, just listened for the stridor to start up again.  Which it didn't.

Wednesday morning he woke up a little rattly, but full of energy and pretty much fine.  This quick improvement baffled me until I realized that ordinarily after said episode I would have given him a cup of milk to drink himself to sleep with, since the neb treatments tend to be pretty traumatic for him, and milk calms him down.  Hmmm....

So Wednesday morning I took him to doctor, to make sure all was well and we wouldn't be having a repeat again that night.  Our amazing pediatrician Dr. Allison Salek (at Univ. of Utah clinic) is out of the office on Wednesdays, so we saw Dr. Henrikson instead.  After describing what happened (and lamely defending myself for not just going to the ER) the night before, I very tentatively explained that we had quit drinking milk a few weeks before, but ended up with a gallon in the fridge, and maybe it's crazy but I think there might be a connection between the milk and his asthma attack, etc.  Well, shock of shocks, Dr. Henrikson agreed with me!  He does not in fact believe that milk does a body good!  He agrees that it's very likely to cause childhood asthma!  I seriously could have cried for joy at how validated I felt.  After explaining what we're doing to lots (and lots) of people, I have gotten a lot (a lot) of skeptical reactions.  To get support from a real live M.D. whom I really respect was hugely rewarding for me.

I'd hate to end this post on such an uncharacteristically positive note, though, so I'll tell you the rest of the story:  To celebrate the Fourth of July in style (we like to get sick on federal holidays when there are no doctors open ANYWHERE), Yummy ruptured an eardrum.  Apparently he had a lot of congestion rattling around after his last attack, and it eventually found its way to his ears.  I feel soooo bad.  We were really not on the lookout for this because he got tubes when he was a baby (after seven infections in four months) and apparently those miraculous tubes are now gone.  A tragic loss.  I'm hoping if we can be better about staying milk-free we can avoid getting him new tubes.

And now..... what you've all been waiting for.....  my first recipe post!
Check out these super tasty [and dairy free] cinnamon rolls that you can actually make in time for breakfast!  They are genius because it's a quick biscuit dough instead of a yeast dough.  This is the cinnamon roll recipe for those of us who do not have in-house bakers who happily rise at 3am to get the dough rising.  For those of you who don't keep coconut oil on hand and couldn't care less about dairy intake (I still love and respect you), substitute an equal amount of cow's milk in place of the almond/soy, and butter in place of the coconut oil.  Don't use shortening!  It's gross!


Quick Cinnamon Buns - Makes 8


Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
Grease or spray a 9 inch round cake pan.


For the filling:
In a small bowl, melt 1 Tbs coconut oil.
Then add:
1/2 c brown sugar
2 Tbs white sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp cloves
1/8 tsp salt
Stir to combine.


For the biscuit dough:
In small bowl or glass measuring cup, melt 6 Tbs coconut oil.
Add 1 1/4 c soy or almond milk, plus 1 tbs of lemon juice.  Let stand for five minutes.  


In large bowl whisk together
2 1/2 c unbleached flour
2 Tbs sugar
1 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt


Combine 'buttermilk' mixture and dry ingredients.  Stir just until combined.  Dough should be shaggy and sticky but workable.  


On floured work surface, pat dough into 12x9 inch rectangle.  Brush dough with 1 Tbs melted coconut oil.  Spread topping evenly on dough.  Starting at the long side, roll the dough, pressing lightly, to form a log.  Pinch seam to seal.  Roll the log seam side down, and cut in half.  Cut each half into four equal pieces.  Place in prepared cake pan.  

Bake until edges are golden brown, about 23-25 minutes. 
Let cool about five minutes before icing or eating.  Your choice. 


For the optional icing:  
Mix in small bowl:
2 Tbs coconut oil (soft but not melted)
2 Tbs coconut milk (or soy, or almond - whatever you have)
1 c powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract


Use rubber spatula to spread icing over warm buns.  Cinnamon buns.  And eat up.